What Howard Thinks
by supercave
Summary: But in no friggen universe is Leonard not a dick. He's got snide and spiteful on lock down, but you know, whatever, Howard doesn't judge. A very short story about Howard's not so fragile thoughts on his friends.


**So I haven't been a very good fan because I've hardly kept up with this season. How can you really blame me? The first few episodes I did watch sucked so ultimately that I couldn't even force myself to continue on with the rest of the series. I will once Supernatural get's there shit together; I cannot deal with two of my favourite shows sucking at the same time. It's just too much for my tiny heart. Anyways, I was walking home when this popped up. I think it's from lack of awesome SHENNY-ness. So this is somewhere before the fourth season, some stuff after that is probably in here...uh, just go with it. :D **

**Anyways, here you are. **

**I don't own the show. :( **

**ENJOY **

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Anyone that meets Sheldon can mostly say that Sheldon is a little bit, if not a lot, crazy. Howard can totally relate to that, but probably not a lot, because Howard spends most of his time in Sheldon's company, as much as he says he hates it. It's because Sheldon's a good friend.

Everyone, and, like, everyone, would swear up and down that Leonard is a much better, not to mention, sane best friend. Howard doesn't think that's true, because Sheldon is a nice guy, he's just conceited. And really, if everyone's just going to nitpick on stuff like that, then Howard's a complete sleaze, Raj is a functional retard and Leonard's a self-pitying dick. Oh, and Penny's an alcoholic.

All that means is hey, people have got their flaws.

Sheldon's got a kind heart, and he'd never intentionally hurt anyone. Sheldon would bend over backwards to help out a friend, just because he complains about it doesn't make it any less note worthy. Plus, Sheldon while at most times not easy to be around, he's really easy to like. The really annoying, but mostly endearing personality makes him a fan favourite.

And Howard can totally understand why Sheldon is the way his is. Sheldon's dad was pretty abusive, and from what Howard can tell, it was only towards Sheldon. He can't imagine what that would do to a person, when one parent loves the rest of your siblings but can't even look you in the eye without being violent. It sucks, and Howard knows that the rest of the gang were able to put two and two together, it's just no one's willing to burst the bubble of comic relief that is Sheldon Cooper. Which can be said for all of them, because once you get past the really funny parts of their lives, it starts to get really friggen depressing.

Most people in Sheldon's shoes would be eyeballs deep in self-loathing, drugs or violence, but Sheldon's just narcissistic and particular. See, because when an authority figure tells you day in and out that you are useless, you're going to want to show everyone that you are everything but. As for the planning every second of his day, that's easy to tell. He doesn't like surprises, because the unknown can be dangerous, and Sheldon is willing to do anything to keep from getting hurt.

Sheldon's demented childhood isn't the main focus though.

The point is, Sheldon's a good guy. He puts up with everyone's harebrained schemes and drops mostly everything to go help.

Sheldon, despite how much he says otherwise, holds Leonard very near and dear to his heart.

It's obvious to tell that Leonard really doesn't do the same. Because everyone, like everyone, knows that Sheldon is %200 percent into Penny. _In love_ with Penny.

Normally Howard doesn't concern himself with these things because...well normally he just doesn't understand them, but Sheldon pinning after Penny was like a complicated math equation. And Howard is an expert at those.

Howard loves women, he loves them in every size and shape and...just everything. But he's also a firm believer of bro's before ho's. And it's fairly obvious that Leonard's never even heard of the concept. That's the thing that makes Howard really mad at him because Leonard looks at Penny the way most people do. They see blond hair, nice ass, big tits, and perky smile. Sure she's nice when you first talk to her, and then she's sort of a sarcastic bitch that fits in better with the nerds than she ever did with the popular kids when you get to know her, but still, his feelings for Penny aren't very deep. They're kiddy pool shallow, and yet for some reason he's deluded himself into thinking that he deserves the hot blonde next door because he's a _nice guy_.

That isn't true at all, Leonard isn't a nice guy, he's a smart douche, which makes him the worse kind of douche. Still he's got that kicked puppy look going for him that makes everyone all kinds of sympathetic. Not that Howard's saying that Leonard isn't a good guy, at the end of the day, he is.

But in no friggen universe is Leonard not a dick. He's got snide and spiteful on lock down, but you know, whatever, Howard doesn't judge.

Anyway.

Sheldon doesn't do betrayal, and Sheldon _really_ doesn't do betrayal on Leonard. Anyone with any kind of eye sight knows that if Sheldon merrily tried to get into Penny's pants, he could. In fact, he'd probably be able to pop the buttons on her jeans with just his mind. Because Penny, is so obviously into him too.

They're sort of cute in a middle school kind of way.

So that's the problem. Sheldon won't make a move on Penny because of Leonard and Penny won't make a move on Sheldon because Sheldon's not giving her the right type of signals. All because Leonard is a selfish prick.

Howard isn't a romantic, he really isn't. He knows with his pasty, tiny ass, that he probably can't really afford to think that way, but he doesn't like candle lit dinners, he doesn't want walks on the beach. What he wants is what Sheldon and Penny would have if it weren't for the little blimp that goes by Leonard Hofsteder

They're oh so comfortable with each other, and they just understand one another. There is something incredibly sweet and innocent and absolutely loving about them. They aren't some sort of cliched over dramatic couple where big, over excessive, overbearing, and exaggerated gestures need to be shown to prove their love for one another. With Penny and Sheldon it's the small things, it's his willingness to mature and compromise and her compliance to each and every one of his quirks.

People can say what they want about Sheldon Cooper but he's a good friend who's willing to do anything for the very people that he allows close to him.

He supposes someone should kick Leonard's ass, he just wishes he had the balls to do it himself.

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**Hope you liked that, please review? **


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